We are 20 & 21 in this picture!!! And I have to say it was one of the most amazing weekends with you!! I had just graduated boot camp and I was ready for this crazy adventure but I was scared but you told me “I was strong & brave! You always had my back.”
I miss your smile, I miss your whit, I miss your laugh. I miss everything about you good and bad. I miss our friendship. It was never perfect cause I am your “little sister”. But it was always perfect because we are “sisters.”
You protected me, and I protected you. We took turns always making sure the other one was ok. So many unsaid conversations, but it was just that one look at each other and we knew. We knew the other one needed each other.
We raised each other. We were not only siblings but we were the other one’s rock. We depended on each other. Sometimes it seemed like it was just us against the world.
As an adult now, I know I would not have survived without you. You taught me how to be strong & brave. To believe in myself and my dreams. To never let someone tell me I can’t & that I was born to do something beautiful with my life.
I question daily why you are gone, why your life was short. Why you. Why did you have to suffer from addiction? Why did it take you? The whys are endless but they will never be answered.
Sitting in the hospital with you, we made so many plans together to help as many people as we could. You planned to go back to school full time and get in the medical field and I would continue coaching and follow my dream of having a giant sisterhood of strong women around me. “To do something beautiful with my life.” I just never imaged doing it without you.
Since the second you left this world I wanted more than anything to be your voice. To share you and your story. To remind people that life is precious, and addiction can take you just like that. You touched so many lives in some sort of way. And I hope I can continue that by truly sharing you, and what an incredible women you are.
People keep asking me crazy questions, sometimes I answer, sometimes I avoid. I avoid still trying to protect you, to keep your secrets yours. But I am learning to share only to help others and help open others open their eyes. It could be them too. To help those who are struggling & suffering. To help those who think they are alone when the reality is they are not.
You fought a battle that I can’t even begin to understand, the struggles you faced for so many years make my heart sink. As time has passed I really do believe you were put on this earth to teach us and continue to teach us.
Kristy, there are truly no words how much you are missed, not just by me but by so many. And how many lives you impacted in your short 35 years. You are loved, you are strong & so incredibly brave to go first. Thank you for being one of my greatest teachers & my big sissy. Love you, sis!