Sometimes life can take you on so many twists and turns that are never expected. Life can be going exactly the way you want it to and then BOOM you get hit with a brick wall.
I am not always as transparent with my health as I want to be but that is part of the fear of what will people think, will I be judged, will people think of me differently. I have never wanted to be thought about as “that sick girl” or have a label smacked down on me. But my health is something I have struggled with ever since my kidney’s failed in 2003.
The one thing I have learned in the past is that everything I have been given has been something that reminds me on a regular basis that I CHOOSE to be strong, time and time again because I could have easily given up.
October 11, I was hit with a nasty fever, Justin was out of town, and I told myself to just push through suck it up. I told me self I was fine “YOU have 2 kids to care for.” When in reality I should have gone to the hospital to get tests done, then and there but didn’t want to ask anyone for help. Part of that is from being that I have always been independent and felt that was putting a burden on someone else to watch my kids.
As the month continued I realized quickly that no matter what I did, I still could not break this fever. I finally gave in and went to the Dr. I honestly thought it would be simple and an antibiotic and a steroid and be done with it. After an extremely long appointment, I left feeling extremely fragile. And realizing my body is fighting against me.
A week later and mass amount of blood work later I had officially been diagnosed with; Fever of an unknown origin (FUO.) In simple terms: a fever that NEVER goes away. The last several months have been filled with test, anxiety, stress, worry and the unknown. I have more medical tests done that I could ever image, blood work, heart monitors, EKG,TEE, ultrasounds, X-rays, cat scans, bone scans and the list continues. Truly I h have felt like I have spent more time at the Drs then at home.
FUO is rare, most people settled for “ it’s just is what it is” but I refuse to believe that. I don’t want to live my life on a handful of pills & my days in bed. It’s not who I am, I want to live life to fullest, dream big, travel, be present & enjoy every single moment. I want to be that person who continues to inspire the world with my love, light and joy for LIFE. I refuse to be a depressing static.
Thankfully between, my doctor, my husband & my teams support they have helped become extremely aggressive and find some answers, there is a chance we will never find the underlying cause but I refuse to GIVE UP. We have figured out several “pieces” to this puzzle. We have learned that my immune system is not functioning they way it should be. I have several cysts internally in my body, my blood is all over the board. My thyroid does not properly work & my adrenal glands are beyond exhausted (but thankfully not dead) and we have reconfirmed some major food allergies. We don’t quite still know the answer of why my body is attacking itself but we are still actively trying to figure out that answer.
Monthly I am doing blood work to that is sent directly to an oncologist and pathologist to make sure that my cells are not drastically changing. February 1 I am having 2 more biopsies done on 2 smaller tumors they found on my thyroid. I am still waiting for a few more appointments to be confirmed a few being a little invasive, a scope to check out my stomach and my digestive track. (Thank God for the drugs on that one) and a few more ultrasounds to just keep watching some bigger cysts to make sure they don’t become an issue.
This is my reality; I am refusing to let it take over my life. I am a health and fitness coach of peat sakes and it’s my passion to share my love of that with the world & I am so thankful for my job. I am not sure I could have mentally gotten through it without my misfit Family. These girls have been little angels who have all been rooting for me!!
Honestly, I am even grateful for the whole entire experience, through the good and the bad. It has taught me so much about myself & has brought so many amazing caring loving people into my life. It has reminded me that we are human, we have good and bad days but ultimately life is a chose, and we have the power on how we want to live it. My theory is to LIVE it to the fullest, wake up every single day and be grateful for all that you have been given. And just because life can be rough its does not mean you need to GIVE UP. xoxo